Divorce can have a significantly damaging impact on children. In fact, it is one of the recognized adverse childhood experiences that can have an impact on mental and physical health for the rest of a child's life.
Obviously, as a loving parent, you want to minimize the mental and physical impact of divorce on your children. It will take some effort from you and your spouse to do so. Thankfully, there are options available that can minimize the amount of stress and strain your children experience during divorce.
The less contentious the process, the less potential there is to damage your children. Working together with your ex to file an uncontested divorce is often a great way to mitigate potential damage to the children. While it can take a lot of work and compromise, the whole family will benefit from these efforts in the long run.
You and your spouse need to work together to protect your children from conflict
Chances are good that you and your ex don't agree on a large number of things regarding how you handle family matters in your pending divorce. After all, divorce usually springs from irreconcilable differences between spouses.
However, regardless of your ideas about education or extracurricular activities, you can both agree that protecting your children from the potential damage of a divorce is the right thing to do. You should both agree to avoid arguing or fighting in front of the children throughout the divorce process as well as during custody and shared parenting moments.
You should avoid speaking negatively about one another in front of your children. Do your best to support one another and encourage your children to remain close with both of you. These efforts can make a large difference to how stressful the divorce is for your children.
If you can avoid litigation, that is the best option
For some spouses, it is impossible to agree on terms for child custody and asset division in a pending divorce. These couples may only have the option of relying on the courts to make all the major decisions on behalf of the family.
Going through divorce court is both expensive and very stressful for the couple and their children. Ideally, you and your spouse can work together to reach terms for your divorce that you can both agree on.
You will need to compromise. As long as you remain focused on reaching a mutually agreeable solution, it is possible to set your own terms and file an uncontested divorce. That way, the only thing that happens in court is finalizing the divorce process, rather than a pitched battle between parents.