Generally speaking, collaborative divorce provides a better experience for all involved: you, your spouse and your kids. If possible, you want to get along and work together. That’s how you get an outcome that makes everyone happy. It’s how you create a low-conflict divorce that does not drag on unnecessarily.
That said, getting along with your spouse during a divorce is not always easy. Maybe they fell for someone else and asked you for a divorce, and you feel hurt and angry because of it. Maybe they have financial problems that you just couldn’t deal with anymore, and they’re angry that you wanted to split up.
No matter why the divorce is happening, it’s likely that the two of you aren’t on the greatest of terms right now. How can you still get along and have a smooth divorce that puts the kids first? Here are a few tips that can help:
1. Keep negative thoughts and opinions quiet
You can feel however you want about your spouse, but you don’t need to drag that out into public. Don’t try to get your friends to take sides, for instance, by belittling your ex. Expect the same from them. Talking down about each other just makes you both angry and makes it harder to work together.
2. Keep it off of social media
You don’t need to post about your marriage, your disagreements, your divorce or anything else on Facebook, Instagram or other social media platforms. Again, this just causes people to choose sides and can lead to resentment when your spouse does not like what you shared.
3. Admit that you both had a role in the divorce
The first step toward working together is to accept your fair share of the blame, give your spouse their fair share and admit that you both played a role. Only then can you both learn what your roles are in the next step of your relationship: splitting up.
4. Keep the kids out of the middle
Children often get dragged into the middle of the divorce, and it makes sense: You need to decide how to split time with them. That’s fine, but you want to keep them out of it as much as you can. Don’t ask them to make decisions or pick sides. Don’t use them to pass messages to your spouse. Above all else, focus on their futures and their best interests every step of the way.
A collaborative divorce
These four tips can really go a long way toward helping you have the collaborative, low-conflict divorce that you want. At the same time, make sure you know all of the legal rights and options that you have in Colorado.