You're in the middle of a custody battle, and it's extremely frustrating. Nothing you've done has ever made it seem like you're not a good parent, yet your spouse is trying to make it sound like you're not there for your family.
It's important that you and your spouse try to come to a resolution together. This kind of situation is bad for your children and bad for both of you. You'll need to work together in the future to raise your children, and barring any unusual circumstances, the court would likely rule to provide both of you with shared custody.
Today, it's well known that children do better when both parents are involved in their lives (barring situations of abuse or domestic violence). While there are times when it's best for one parent not to be involved in a child's life, the truth is that most people do deserve to see their kids and to share in the responsibility of raising them. The reality that you and your spouse no longer get along should not hinder your opportunity to raise your child.
How can you get through difficult child custody discussions?
If you and your spouse do struggle to get through discussions over child custody, you may want to think about using mediation or other collaborative methods. With mediation and other types of collaborative law, you'll have your attorney there with you, but you'll be focused on negotiation rather than litigation. Sometimes, turning to this less formal arrangement is helpful in calming the situation and encouraging discussion.
When you have a custody dispute or can't settle on a custody schedule, keep in mind that there are many factors at play. The other parent may not be able to see your child on certain days due to work. You might have obligations that make it hard for you to care for them when they're out of school for vacations or holidays. Both of you should bring with you to any meeting information about the dates you cannot watch your child and a list of dates when you're absolutely available. You should have information on your work schedules and be able to discuss other reasoning for setting up a schedule in whatever method you're looking for.
Your attorneys will be there with you both to draw up an agreement if you can negotiate one. Then, that agreement will be submitted to the judge.